Sunday 29 May 2011
Saturday 28 May 2011
The film was his last testament as a film-maker, and consists of a single shot of saturated blue colour filling the screen, as background to a soundtrack where Jarman's and some of his favourite actors' narration describes his life and vision. (source wiki)
In time,
no one will remember our work.
Our life will pass like the traces of a cloud
and be scattered like
mist that is chased by the
rays of the sun.
For our time is the passing of a shadow
and our lives will run like
sparks through the stubble.
I place a delphinium, Blue, upon your grave.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
How Can That Be?
It's not often that me and Jakers have intellectual conversations but this is one we had the other day. It started with me reading his t.shirt that he got for taking part in the marathon. It read: The Belfast Marathon's 30th Year 1982-2011.
Me: How can it it be the Belfast Marathon's 30th Year?
Jakes: I know, i thought that?
Me: Because it's 1982-2011, that can't be 30 years.
Jakes: I know.
Me: Because we were born in 1982 and we're not 30 'til next year?
Jakes: I know, that's what I thought.
Me: And for it to be 30 years it would have to end in an even number and 2011 is an
odd number.
Jakes: I know.
Me: And it would have to end in the number 2!
Jakes: I know.
Then I proceeded to count (on my fingers) from 1982 to 2011 and, sure enough, it was 30 years. This fries my head a wee bit.
But anyway, the point of this story is to congratulate Jakers in his participation of this year's (the 30th year) Belfast marathon. Well done baby! He had sore knees but the rats kissed them bette
Me: How can it it be the Belfast Marathon's 30th Year?
Jakes: I know, i thought that?
Me: Because it's 1982-2011, that can't be 30 years.
Jakes: I know.
Me: Because we were born in 1982 and we're not 30 'til next year?
Jakes: I know, that's what I thought.
Me: And for it to be 30 years it would have to end in an even number and 2011 is an
odd number.
Jakes: I know.
Me: And it would have to end in the number 2!
Jakes: I know.
Then I proceeded to count (on my fingers) from 1982 to 2011 and, sure enough, it was 30 years. This fries my head a wee bit.
But anyway, the point of this story is to congratulate Jakers in his participation of this year's (the 30th year) Belfast marathon. Well done baby! He had sore knees but the rats kissed them bette
When You're Washing Up
This is an excerpt from Paulo Coelho's The Witch Of Portobello:
"When you're washing up, pray. be thankful there are plates to be washed; that means there was food, that you fed someone, that you've lavished care on one or more people, that you cooked and laid the table. Imagine the millions of people at this moment who have absolutely nothing to wash up and no one for whom to lay the table"
"When you're washing up, pray. be thankful there are plates to be washed; that means there was food, that you fed someone, that you've lavished care on one or more people, that you cooked and laid the table. Imagine the millions of people at this moment who have absolutely nothing to wash up and no one for whom to lay the table"
Lost
Usually, I'm not too bad at expressing my emotions through words but, now, I just can't seem to find the right ones. All I know is that I feel sad and however sad I feel I know that this must be ten fold for my mum and her brothers and sisters
Happy Easter
By pure sheer luck I managed to be off work for five full days. Feeling the itch in my feet I decided to take myself down to Derry for a night. I was gonna go by myself, stay in a hostel, walk around, read my book and drink coffee. But there are two absolutely amazing people in Derry, Magda and Steve, who I met at university and hadn't seen in years. I dcided to give them a shout in case they fancied meeting. Then I realsied that Dirt Bird was home for Easter so she came along too and we had a lovely, lovely time. But it was more than just a lovely time for me. It was healing for my soul. If I spend too long without some kind of adventure I feel restless and discontent. I used to think that I had to travel half way round the world to settle this urge but I've realised that even just gettig out of Ballymena helps.
We met Magda and a few of her other friends and went to Sandino's where we were entertained by an eclectic mix of live music. We then headed back to Magda and Steve's where we were fed mojito's and pizza. The next day we had a lovely breakfast in their garden, a stroll along the beach and yummy icecream at a traditonal cafe. We were very well looked after.
Last night I was at my mate's birthday party. It was a fun night playing drinking games and being silly. Today I could really do with a mint frappe (my new favourite hangover cure) but I'm going to have to settle for juice and doughnuts. Oh well.
We met Magda and a few of her other friends and went to Sandino's where we were entertained by an eclectic mix of live music. We then headed back to Magda and Steve's where we were fed mojito's and pizza. The next day we had a lovely breakfast in their garden, a stroll along the beach and yummy icecream at a traditonal cafe. We were very well looked after.
Last night I was at my mate's birthday party. It was a fun night playing drinking games and being silly. Today I could really do with a mint frappe (my new favourite hangover cure) but I'm going to have to settle for juice and doughnuts. Oh well.
Ha Boot Da Ha
If my niece knew what a birthday was this is probably what she'd say to me. And though she's not quite old enough to be aware of birthdays she still made me a lovely birthday card and came round to visit me. She brought her mummy and her two dogs with her. I made tea for the adults, Martha got a wee taste of mint milkshake and the poor dogs had to settle for a few rat kibbles.
After being at the zoo yesterday you'd have thought that the rats would have been boring to Martha but not atall. She thought they were great. And you'd have thought the rats would have been nervous with two dogs around but they are far too cocky to be scared. In fact, Maya was much more scared of the rats than they were of her.
After being at the zoo yesterday you'd have thought that the rats would have been boring to Martha but not atall. She thought they were great. And you'd have thought the rats would have been nervous with two dogs around but they are far too cocky to be scared. In fact, Maya was much more scared of the rats than they were of her.
Flat Warming and Rat Warming
It feels like such a long time ago that I had anything of any real worth to write about. In a way it's a good thing. My time is occupied doing stuff, rather than writing stuff. The stuff that i do isn't so exciting that I feel the need to write about it. I go to work. Work is fine. For the first time in a long time I'm happy in my job. I volunteer once a week at a youth club. Sometimes it feels like there's not much point me being there but a lot of the time I feel I'm doing something worthwhile. I encourage some of the lads to make cards and last week I brought the guitars down for them. Sometimes I just play pool or chat with them.
I get to see my darling niece on a regular basis which I could write about at great length but I am aware that, whilst this is great for me and my family, it's not great reading for people who don't know me. It's an utter delight though to see her smiling at me, or hear her giggling when we play peekaboo.
There's also the rats of course, which are another endless source of delight. Rocky is getting fatter and fatter. Pepe's definitely not pregnant but she's earning herself the reputation of being the naughty one. We talk about the rats so much that mum says she dreads to think what we'll be like if we have kids.
It's my birthday this friday so I'm having a party to combine our flatwarming ratwarming and my last year of being a twentysomething. So that's my life at the minute in a nutshell. I'm happy and content but lacking in a bit of inspiration But if that's the least of my worries I'm doing alright really.
I get to see my darling niece on a regular basis which I could write about at great length but I am aware that, whilst this is great for me and my family, it's not great reading for people who don't know me. It's an utter delight though to see her smiling at me, or hear her giggling when we play peekaboo.
There's also the rats of course, which are another endless source of delight. Rocky is getting fatter and fatter. Pepe's definitely not pregnant but she's earning herself the reputation of being the naughty one. We talk about the rats so much that mum says she dreads to think what we'll be like if we have kids.
It's my birthday this friday so I'm having a party to combine our flatwarming ratwarming and my last year of being a twentysomething. So that's my life at the minute in a nutshell. I'm happy and content but lacking in a bit of inspiration But if that's the least of my worries I'm doing alright really.
Thursday 26 May 2011
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Me? A hobo? No...
How much of a hobo are you?
And what I mean by that is, how strange do you let yourself get?
I don't mean to be offensive to hobos of which I have limitless respect for, the way they choose to wear their hair, stylish, ripped clothing and a swag that sends chills down the spines of rats, but come on, when someone says the word hobo, you probably think of something like this:
right? Or maybe that's just me...
ANYWAYS, hobos...
I feel like they just about sum up my life.
Until that afternoon in early May.
Oh yes.
It was a sunday. The air was full of humidity and the sun hung in the sky about to set. I was full. My friend was full. Oh so very full I felt, full to the point that I could feel my belly rounding. You know, like an old mans belly. I had eaten pizza, guacamole samples, cheese samples, a vitamin water, brownie samples, bubble tea, and a cookie. But there was word in town that the bagel factory had the best bagels around. And that they throw out their day old bread at night because they only "sell fresh bread". And hey, we were out of money...
Now I know what you are thinking. Where are you going with this? Are you really considering eating from a garbage? A Garbage? But listen...
These are the best bagels around. And the best bagels around require unique thinking...
So me and my friend went outside of the bagel shop. Looked around and quietly opened up the garbage bag. Acting completely casual, you know, looking completely normal. We open the bag, look inside, and I'm telling you it is a utopia of bread. MOUNTAINS of bread. Soft, squishy bread that still has FLOUR on it.
And at this moment in time my hobo instincts took over. As me and my buddy reached inside the bag (which only had bread in it... no garbage) and ate the best bagels of our lives. It's not even a bagel it's so good. It's like... eating clouds!
And what I mean by that is, how strange do you let yourself get?
I don't mean to be offensive to hobos of which I have limitless respect for, the way they choose to wear their hair, stylish, ripped clothing and a swag that sends chills down the spines of rats, but come on, when someone says the word hobo, you probably think of something like this:
ANYWAYS, hobos...
I feel like they just about sum up my life.
I mean if ever I am feeling odd or strange I often turn myself into a creepy hobo with a rounded back, slurred and crazed speech and funny words. I see them on the train, in the streets, sleeping on the ground, haunting my dreams...
But I never considered myself an actual HOBO.Until that afternoon in early May.
Oh yes.
It was a sunday. The air was full of humidity and the sun hung in the sky about to set. I was full. My friend was full. Oh so very full I felt, full to the point that I could feel my belly rounding. You know, like an old mans belly. I had eaten pizza, guacamole samples, cheese samples, a vitamin water, brownie samples, bubble tea, and a cookie. But there was word in town that the bagel factory had the best bagels around. And that they throw out their day old bread at night because they only "sell fresh bread". And hey, we were out of money...
Now I know what you are thinking. Where are you going with this? Are you really considering eating from a garbage? A Garbage? But listen...
These are the best bagels around. And the best bagels around require unique thinking...
So me and my friend went outside of the bagel shop. Looked around and quietly opened up the garbage bag. Acting completely casual, you know, looking completely normal. We open the bag, look inside, and I'm telling you it is a utopia of bread. MOUNTAINS of bread. Soft, squishy bread that still has FLOUR on it.
And at this moment in time my hobo instincts took over. As me and my buddy reached inside the bag (which only had bread in it... no garbage) and ate the best bagels of our lives. It's not even a bagel it's so good. It's like... eating clouds!
Cassidy... The epitome of evil
Hey, so now that I have all these followers... my first move is to publicly humiliate the evilest creature in my life... my sister. >:)
HA HA HA
Most of us have siblings. And if you don't have one, I'm sure you have heard countless times how lucky you are. You know all about the fighting, the teasing, the absolute annoyance of it all. And I'm sure all the siblings out there claim to have the most aggrivating sibling there is. But trust me. Mine wins.
See my little sister Cassidy, is absolutely visious. I remember when I was about 6, my friends refused to come over to my house. Why? They were scared my sister would bite them again. Oh and I'm sure this is not big news for all of you. Biting seems to be oddly common. But most kids grow out of it. Yea well not my sister. She's eleven, a sixth grader, and still seems to be teething. But at least her bite marks aren't as odd... See what was rare about my sisters bite mark was the huge gap in the center. My sister had the oddest teeth there are. Every tooth had more room then it needed. None of her teeth touched each other. They were spread about and stuck out to the point where she didn't have to even bite to make a mark on your skin.
Her laugh is dangerous too. It's boisterous, contagious, and outrageous. When she's laughing, I mean, she will just flop on anything in her way. Whether its a car, a person, a nose. I remember one time her teeth made a cut on my dads nose while she was laughing. Her spongebob laugh. His nose started bleeding. She stuck her teeth right in. We tried to get my dad to wear a bandade to work on his nose. He wouldn't do it. I guess dad's don't think its cool to wear barbie bandades on their noses.
I just think it's funny that it doesn't matter that I am 3 years older than her... She always is the one chasing ME, and I'm always getting beat up. I mean... I usually win you see, but if she gets really mad, like if I take her chapstick or something, the REALLY special chapstick that is pink and pretty, I need to seek refuge. AND RIGHT AWAY. That means let go of the chapstick and RUN FOR MY LIFE. Grab a door and hold it shut until she finally moves away. Or until I have found a weapon to wave in her face. Weapons like... a bat. A ball. A skooter... or even just a certain ninja move to distract her... like waving my hands back in forth around me and kicking my legs out to make it impossible for her to dig her nails into me.
AHHHHH... I doubt she'll be very happy to see I have posted this now that I have 194 followers... HAHAHAHAH 194 PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE THIS?!!! hhahahah oh gosh, I'm getting my ninja on..
HA HA HA
Most of us have siblings. And if you don't have one, I'm sure you have heard countless times how lucky you are. You know all about the fighting, the teasing, the absolute annoyance of it all. And I'm sure all the siblings out there claim to have the most aggrivating sibling there is. But trust me. Mine wins.
See my little sister Cassidy, is absolutely visious. I remember when I was about 6, my friends refused to come over to my house. Why? They were scared my sister would bite them again. Oh and I'm sure this is not big news for all of you. Biting seems to be oddly common. But most kids grow out of it. Yea well not my sister. She's eleven, a sixth grader, and still seems to be teething. But at least her bite marks aren't as odd... See what was rare about my sisters bite mark was the huge gap in the center. My sister had the oddest teeth there are. Every tooth had more room then it needed. None of her teeth touched each other. They were spread about and stuck out to the point where she didn't have to even bite to make a mark on your skin.
Her laugh is dangerous too. It's boisterous, contagious, and outrageous. When she's laughing, I mean, she will just flop on anything in her way. Whether its a car, a person, a nose. I remember one time her teeth made a cut on my dads nose while she was laughing. Her spongebob laugh. His nose started bleeding. She stuck her teeth right in. We tried to get my dad to wear a bandade to work on his nose. He wouldn't do it. I guess dad's don't think its cool to wear barbie bandades on their noses.
I just think it's funny that it doesn't matter that I am 3 years older than her... She always is the one chasing ME, and I'm always getting beat up. I mean... I usually win you see, but if she gets really mad, like if I take her chapstick or something, the REALLY special chapstick that is pink and pretty, I need to seek refuge. AND RIGHT AWAY. That means let go of the chapstick and RUN FOR MY LIFE. Grab a door and hold it shut until she finally moves away. Or until I have found a weapon to wave in her face. Weapons like... a bat. A ball. A skooter... or even just a certain ninja move to distract her... like waving my hands back in forth around me and kicking my legs out to make it impossible for her to dig her nails into me.
AHHHHH... I doubt she'll be very happy to see I have posted this now that I have 194 followers... HAHAHAHAH 194 PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE THIS?!!! hhahahah oh gosh, I'm getting my ninja on..
I'm a happy monkey... !!!!!
I mean it's just... OH MY GODDDDDDD
this is amazing. absolutely amazing, i just want to thank every single one of you for visiting my blog and congratulating me on my blog of note...
I was just you know, checking my email when I noticed that I had a blog comment. I got really excited because I just NEVER get comments, and then what do you know? BOOM, BOOm, Boooooom, I scrolled up and about 30 new comments appeared. I didn't even think it could be because of something like blog of note, but IT WAS.
Which is just insane because I haven't written in months, and I almost forgot about my blog. But this has made me want to keep posting and so I think I'm back guys... 122 followers... HAHAHAH WOW I had 17 before.
this is just amazing
WEEEEHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
sit tight, I'm working on a post right now!
again, thank you SOOOO MUCH
I was just you know, checking my email when I noticed that I had a blog comment. I got really excited because I just NEVER get comments, and then what do you know? BOOM, BOOm, Boooooom, I scrolled up and about 30 new comments appeared. I didn't even think it could be because of something like blog of note, but IT WAS.
Which is just insane because I haven't written in months, and I almost forgot about my blog. But this has made me want to keep posting and so I think I'm back guys... 122 followers... HAHAHAH WOW I had 17 before.
this is just amazing
WEEEEHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
sit tight, I'm working on a post right now!
again, thank you SOOOO MUCH
ELePHANTAY!
do you know any elephants that can spit out pieces of a map of India? I didn't THINK SO! Meet my friend, bob.
I might be using the name bob too much. BUT BOB IS SUCH AN AWESOME NAME!
Anyways, this elephantAY is on my wall! an improvement on the coolness of my roomio ;)
>:{E)
evil bunny with a mustache and buck teeth.
I might be using the name bob too much. BUT BOB IS SUCH AN AWESOME NAME!
Anyways, this elephantAY is on my wall! an improvement on the coolness of my roomio ;)
>:{E)
evil bunny with a mustache and buck teeth.
MISSION ACCEPTED
my parents call me a pig
my sister a non-monkey
my friends call me a deranged orangutan that cant find her stuff
I shall take these remarks as direct threats to the well-being of me, lily chopstick. HAHA! blogger corrected my "capstick" to chopstick! I guess I am a chopstick then.
ANYWAYS, whatever my name may be I must avenge myself by...
using my fork and knife correctly at the dinner table
showing my sister my amazing kitchen counter top and shelf monkey climbing skillzzzz
make my room so amazing that I not only can find my stuff BUT my room will be so organized and DETAILED and FLAMAKUSH AMAZING that they will faint when they walk in through my door.
Alright.
MISSION ACCEPTED!
I will post my progress...
my sister a non-monkey
my friends call me a deranged orangutan that cant find her stuff
I shall take these remarks as direct threats to the well-being of me, lily chopstick. HAHA! blogger corrected my "capstick" to chopstick! I guess I am a chopstick then.
ANYWAYS, whatever my name may be I must avenge myself by...
using my fork and knife correctly at the dinner table
showing my sister my amazing kitchen counter top and shelf monkey climbing skillzzzz
make my room so amazing that I not only can find my stuff BUT my room will be so organized and DETAILED and FLAMAKUSH AMAZING that they will faint when they walk in through my door.
Alright.
MISSION ACCEPTED!
I will post my progress...
Jello!
Jello! (Me speaking in an odd english accent)
The question is, am i saying Hello? Or Jello?
The truth is, I don't really know. I am assuming I said Jello because I was talking about the food, but then again, Hello makes a lot of sense here. It's been a while blogger. It's been a while. so yes, hello there! Jello there gov'na, Bonjour! Hola! Gutentak! Chowder!
Wait, no. Chowder? no. that's not right....
Why do I keep thinking of foods? First Jello in my hello, then Chowder in my Ciao. I am thinking of foods because well, ONE I am a teenager, and TWO food is amazing, and THREE... I've got an essay to do. And it's 11:47 pm. whooooops.
I wish I was Jello... now that I think about it! Jello has no bones. obviously. It isn't a creature like you and me. It doesn't breathe. It doesn't eat. Oh the poor thing! What does it live for? It lives for my belly. And it lives for the fact that it doesn't have to make skeleton essays.
Okay what? Yes. Skeleton essays.
I have to write a skeleton essay right now and I couldn't help but think that if I was jello, I TOTALLY WOULD NOT HAVE TO WRITE THAT ESSAY!
For one, I wouldn't have hands to type/write with.
two, I wouldn't have eyes to see what I was writing.
But further more, I wouldn't have a skeleton of my own, and would be so very confused on what a skeleton essay was!
Why, when my teacher would go up to me and ask, umm... WHERE IS YOUR SKELTON ESSAY YOU FOOL?! with her scary "I"M GOING TO EAT YOU" face. I would start to cry, as a jello man, and say. Oh but teacher! I do not know what a skeleton is! I do not have a skeleton of my own. Oh how I wish I did. Oh, wahhhh. I WISH I HAD A SKELETON LIKE YOU!
and then I would start to sing as a jello man, my jello songs would put my teacher into a trance of which she would say," oh you poor piece of jello! You do not have to complete this skeleton essay requirement!"
To which I, the jello, would be delighted and would smile!
TADA!
What a marvelous plan!
Oh, but wait.
WAIT WAIT WAIT.
Jello has bones. JELLO IS BONE. IT IS MADE UP OF SKELETONS OF ANIMALS! OH NO! My idea has been squashed under a watermelon!
Looks like I have to write this essay....
Good night govna!
The question is, am i saying Hello? Or Jello?
The truth is, I don't really know. I am assuming I said Jello because I was talking about the food, but then again, Hello makes a lot of sense here. It's been a while blogger. It's been a while. so yes, hello there! Jello there gov'na, Bonjour! Hola! Gutentak! Chowder!
Wait, no. Chowder? no. that's not right....
Why do I keep thinking of foods? First Jello in my hello, then Chowder in my Ciao. I am thinking of foods because well, ONE I am a teenager, and TWO food is amazing, and THREE... I've got an essay to do. And it's 11:47 pm. whooooops.
I wish I was Jello... now that I think about it! Jello has no bones. obviously. It isn't a creature like you and me. It doesn't breathe. It doesn't eat. Oh the poor thing! What does it live for? It lives for my belly. And it lives for the fact that it doesn't have to make skeleton essays.
Okay what? Yes. Skeleton essays.
I have to write a skeleton essay right now and I couldn't help but think that if I was jello, I TOTALLY WOULD NOT HAVE TO WRITE THAT ESSAY!
For one, I wouldn't have hands to type/write with.
two, I wouldn't have eyes to see what I was writing.
But further more, I wouldn't have a skeleton of my own, and would be so very confused on what a skeleton essay was!
Why, when my teacher would go up to me and ask, umm... WHERE IS YOUR SKELTON ESSAY YOU FOOL?! with her scary "I"M GOING TO EAT YOU" face. I would start to cry, as a jello man, and say. Oh but teacher! I do not know what a skeleton is! I do not have a skeleton of my own. Oh how I wish I did. Oh, wahhhh. I WISH I HAD A SKELETON LIKE YOU!
and then I would start to sing as a jello man, my jello songs would put my teacher into a trance of which she would say," oh you poor piece of jello! You do not have to complete this skeleton essay requirement!"
To which I, the jello, would be delighted and would smile!
TADA!
What a marvelous plan!
Oh, but wait.
WAIT WAIT WAIT.
Jello has bones. JELLO IS BONE. IT IS MADE UP OF SKELETONS OF ANIMALS! OH NO! My idea has been squashed under a watermelon!
Looks like I have to write this essay....
Good night govna!
BEACH camping
Have you ever slept on the beach overnight? Well let me tell you, it's fun. But you never know what may come at you. Maybe you have a wonderful time, with a moon, a sunset, you hear some nice birds singing in the morning, and you catch a lot of fish. See that would have been quite convenient. But no.
No, of course that didn't happen. See what we experienced was just as fun, if not more fun, just a little crazy. No sunset, the clouds were too thick, and as night came around we realised we lacked a moon too. Not to mention the big roaring waves that invaded our happy little spot. Waves would go under our chairs, and nearly hit our car. So we moved back. And back again. But this wasn't the worst part. You see, these waves seemed to carry all of these little jumping crabs. These crabs came in 100s. And liked our feet.
We would have 100 little crabs invading our area at one moment, and then a wave would crash and bring another hundred. And if you know the ocean, waves come frequently. Especially when they are rollers.
These jumping crabs were worse then mosquitoes and green heads put together. They will just crawl all over your feet and dance, and jump. But that hardly matters, see after a few moments of uncomfortable little crabs on your feet, they will start to dig their claws into your skin. It's disturbing. So not only were we on a loud beach, with huge crashing waves, looking up at a pitch dark sky with no moon, and an unsatisfying sunset, but we all had our legs sticking awkwardly out in the air, avoiding the little midnight jumping crabs, that liked our feet.
At about 2 in the morning we made a bed out of blankets on the damp beach. I had finally started to drift off to sleep when a crab jumps into my ear. Shall I repeat? MY EAR! My... EAR. A little jumping crab jumped its way into my ear, while I was sleeping. Do you know how absolutely disturbing it is to be half a sleep and have a gross little baby jumping crab fly into your ear? It's horrific. It's awful. So I scream, and don't deny it, you would scream too. I get out of my sleeping bag, and get the crab OUT OF MY EAR. And of course then it starts to rain, and thunder, and lightening appears, and after a few minutes the lightening comes close enough to threaten us on our metal chairs.
So we spend the night in the car.
No, of course that didn't happen. See what we experienced was just as fun, if not more fun, just a little crazy. No sunset, the clouds were too thick, and as night came around we realised we lacked a moon too. Not to mention the big roaring waves that invaded our happy little spot. Waves would go under our chairs, and nearly hit our car. So we moved back. And back again. But this wasn't the worst part. You see, these waves seemed to carry all of these little jumping crabs. These crabs came in 100s. And liked our feet.
We would have 100 little crabs invading our area at one moment, and then a wave would crash and bring another hundred. And if you know the ocean, waves come frequently. Especially when they are rollers.
These jumping crabs were worse then mosquitoes and green heads put together. They will just crawl all over your feet and dance, and jump. But that hardly matters, see after a few moments of uncomfortable little crabs on your feet, they will start to dig their claws into your skin. It's disturbing. So not only were we on a loud beach, with huge crashing waves, looking up at a pitch dark sky with no moon, and an unsatisfying sunset, but we all had our legs sticking awkwardly out in the air, avoiding the little midnight jumping crabs, that liked our feet.
At about 2 in the morning we made a bed out of blankets on the damp beach. I had finally started to drift off to sleep when a crab jumps into my ear. Shall I repeat? MY EAR! My... EAR. A little jumping crab jumped its way into my ear, while I was sleeping. Do you know how absolutely disturbing it is to be half a sleep and have a gross little baby jumping crab fly into your ear? It's horrific. It's awful. So I scream, and don't deny it, you would scream too. I get out of my sleeping bag, and get the crab OUT OF MY EAR. And of course then it starts to rain, and thunder, and lightening appears, and after a few minutes the lightening comes close enough to threaten us on our metal chairs.
So we spend the night in the car.
Mr. and Mrs. Lobster-muffin
Da Da dada Da Daa Da Da Da dadada Da DA DADA DA da da dada da dadadada Da Da dada Da Daa Da Da Da Da Da DA!
I just want to let you know that I worked my booty off trying to make the das remind you of the wedding song... I don't know if it worked. But perhaps you get the point. I wed my lobster and muffin. (Except I kind of took a bite out of Mr. Muffin before hand.) Way too delicious. :)
The little crabbie that lived
This is my little crabbie. Not that I can claim it. I'm not even the one that saved this little life. But I'll be explaining its life story, for the sake of having nothing to do at this point in time. So here I go. This is my little crabbie.
Once upon a time there was a little crabby. He was very adventurous. He liked to climb on forbidden things, roam away from his parents, and sometimes try to eat his older brothers and sisters when little fishies ran short. Life was a breeze all before the day he went missing. The day he got stuck in a big jumble of fisherman net. This net contained broken line, rustled rope, and sharp sticks. Little crabbie thought it was the end, for she was stuck, and hungry.
And now my little crabbie is free in Nantucket, and happy.
And a sand shark will be transporting him to his parents in the morning.
Antique Cars
Here I am in my paradise, taken away from the reality of the universe. No loud cars, honking noises, shouting. The loudest noises here in Nantucket are the birds that start to sing at 4:30 am. I thought I was being very observant to the fact that Nantucket seems to have a lot of antique car holders. Every few miles I'll see an antique car, snap a photo. Of course, I didn't realise there was a Nantucket Antique Car Rental in town till yesterday. GOOD JOB Lily...
Not quite toothpaste
Or the cream medicines, "KEEP OUT OF EYES", "KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN" And then I'd ask my mom, "I'm a child why are you putting this cream on me?" I don't know about you but I was very cautious when I was a little girl.
But as you grow up, you realise how these warnings are only slightly true. How they are exaggerated, just to be safe. So that if something happens, the company won't be sued. So this morning, I guess you could call me casual as I reached for the tooth paste, not really scared of anything. Being slightly normal. But casual enough not to check if the tooth paste was in fact toothpaste.
For about a week now I have had these two burns on my left arm. You see, I like to think I am handy with a hair curler, yea well apparently I'm not. Because when I tried to curl my hair last week, well. I guess you could say it didn't go very well. But who can resist a beautiful new curling iron? With a cheetah print handle? That is practically calling my name? So I tried it out, and burned my arm... twice. We got antibiotic cream for the burns.
And through my casualties I picked up this antibiotic cream instead of toothpaste this morning, and started to use it on my teeth.
Goodbye NEST+m
Goodbye Nest. I hate you. I love you. I'll never wear your nest shirt again, I'll miss your rotten chicken wings, and frozen milk. I'll miss you're squeaky clean building, of which you have spoiled me. My high school building is an ugly duckling compared to you. 6 years I spent under your walls, and as much as I'll miss them, leaving is what I've been dreaming for since I entered.
I'm going to miss my nerdy school. The innocent little nesties, with khaki pants, nest polos buttoned up, bulky sneakers, colorful braces, rolling backpacks and frozen milk in breakfast cereal. Insane teachers, screaming over jeans. Good bye nerdy nest. I think I might miss you.
Fake nose
I'm only 13, too young to do many things. Such as go on the work out machinesin the health club, too young to go in the sauna, steam room, too old to go to the movies as a $9 kid. But as you probably know, most of these restrictions are easy to slide through. I go in the sauna almost every time I go swimming, I love thesteam room too. The movie issue is easily solved by a little girl hair do, and a puppy dog face. And yesterday when I was faced with an issue of free kayaking the problem was easy to face. I just messed up a little bit. See I should never have told them my age. You need to be 16 and of course, I am not 16. I assumed you needed to be older then 13, so I informed them I was 14.
STUPID MISTAKE.
If I go back today and tell them I am 16, which would be believable considering my height, I won't convince them. My face will be recognised.
And it's not like I was some forgettable person coming along to ask for kayaking. I was soaking wet. With two other friends, and didn't really want to let it slide that I was too young. I can't say I argued, but I definitely tried to negotiate.
STUPID MISTAKE.
So a new nose will solve all my problems.
If I have a fake nose I won't be recognised, and can easily kayak joyfully. So if you happen to find your self in contact with a fake nose. TELL ME. I've searched, but am not being very lucky. If you know anything. Please tell me. Thanks. ;)
SUNDAY, JUNE 20, 2010
BUGS
Bugs.
Need.
To.
Die.
Like honestly? Why are they here? I love nature, I know everything has a balance and what not. And fine, bugs can exist, but can they please just leave me alone? Eat my sister, I'm fine with that.
Just leave me be.
Do you realise that I have to put on bug spray in my own house? I don't even live in some country side house with window screens. I'm living on the 31st floor in an apartment building in NYC. Shouldn't I be free from bugs?
Oh but no. This is never the case. I mean, if anything I experience more bugs then most people.
I remember a few years back we had a cockroach problem. It was really disgusting. I was scared to enter my kitchen. I remember once I woke up and saw a little cockroach enter my room under the door and slip into my over night bag for Camp Mason. I was so freaked out.
And for some reason we now have a problem with fruit flies. We might have kept some over ripe bananas longer then we needed to... We eventually made some delicious banana bread though. But now, i mean these fruit flies are coming in swarms. Okay, no. I am most definitely exaggerating, but they are extremely annoying.
They are leaving me alone right now. But the mosquitoes are getting me.
Now please explaining to me why mosquitoes like girls better then boys? I don't understand...
I can't sleep because I have itches all over Me.
And smell like Off! Spray.
GO.
Away.
Bugs.
GO
Away.
I hate spiders too. Which is ridiculous, because if I want these bugs to go away, I need to let the spiders do their jobs.
Why must my blood be so delicious?
Subway buddy # 2
This here is William. Or at least, this is what I believe his name to be. No particular reason his name is William. It just kind of... makes sense in my mind.
Yes, so William. He performs on subways, sidewalks, parking lots. He's pretty good. Has a nice range. Sounds a bit like Micheal Jackson. Is he the next American Idol? I'm not sure, but I won't be surprised to see him auditioning and making it pretty far. He says he's going to audition. So look at his face. Rememberit. And know that I called it. You heard it hear first.
With a nice hair cut, a new shirt, some perfume, and a new pair of shoes, he'll be ready for Hollywood. But for now, he's still asking for change from people on the subway, so wish him luck!
Missing sock
I don't like to do laundry. Who does? But my reason is a bit different then yours probably. You see, my laundry bin is this huge metal cylinder, with holes that seem to grate your fingers as though you were cheese, and it takes all my body weight to bring it over to the laundry room. I can't even carry it. It rests on my toes and I wiggle over to the room.
But just now. I had the oddest thing happen...
I was wigglying over to the laundry room, when my sock fell off. But that was no biggy, so I went into the laundry room and did my laundry business. But here is the weird part. As I left the laundry room, across the hall I saw my neighbors door closing. I also noticed that my sock was missing...
My neighbor stole my sock.
Okay, is that not the most random thing for a neighbor to do? And now I'm kind of angry because well. I liked that sock a lot. And now my neighbor has it.
What the heck is my neighbor going to do with my dirty sock?
Oh Regents.
Oh Regents. What a stress you bring to these children's lives. Children of middle school. WHY? Why must you come among us and spoil our time to be free and play? We are in 8th grade! We should be playing like little babies. Oh but no. Oh but no. We take these tests. We work till the last moment. We get no rewards. No nap time. No play time. Nothing. Oh Why? NEST. Why?
Sunburned
You could say I have fare skin. I mean, it's pretty much transparent. And when it comes to the ultra violet rays of the sun, well my skin is sensitive like a baby'sbottom. I'm scared to tan, because I just don't tan. I always get a sunburn. The only time I have a tan is when my sun burn has started to cool down. I'm not likemy dad, he hardly wears sunscreen. I'm not like my sister either. Those little tan people. No. I'm like my mom. Little fair skinned babies we are.
I am usually really good about sun screen. Okay no. I'm pretty bad. I mean I know I need to wear it. But I just forget it all the time. When it comes to lying on the beach I never really get the whole tanning thing right. I either smother myself in way too much sunscreen and allow the sun to make no mark on my skin, or forget entirely about the sunscreen, and get burned. Or I fall asleep. That of course, is the worst. And that's what I've got today.
I'm back from fire island, and aching all over. I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. I was just you know, lying there, closed my eyes... And boom. I wake up an hour later. With these sunburns all over me.
I was covered in sand, so I have random blotches of white on my legs. Its odd. I was wresting my hand over my elbow so I've got a big hand mark on my elbow too. Yes, I not only have big feet, but big hands too. I've got a red arm, but the redness doesn't go up to the shoulder. Oh no. It abruptly stops where my tee- shirt sleeve sat. I was in a tee- shirt and shorts, not a bathing suit. While sleeping my head only rested on the right side of my face. So not only do I have sunburned legs and red splotches on my arms, but I have a disturbed face. A face half tanned and half not.
If I had the money and the patience to fill my bath tub in milk, I would rush my way to the store this very minute. I've always wanted to take a bath in milk... But no. I'll have to live with what's left of the Aloe Vera relief cream in the bathroomdrawer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)